


The ties that bind

by Random_Human



Series: ShinIchi Week 2019 [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not Beta Read, ShinIchi Week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 15:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17645087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Human/pseuds/Random_Human
Summary: It had started out small, but soon it became all too evident that this, this... whatever-this-is had almost completely shattered their relationship.As the dynamic between Shinji and Ichigo becomes more and more strained, Shinji works to bring them back together before their relationship is damaged irrevocably.





	The ties that bind

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for Shinichi Week 2019 Day 1  
> Prompt - Loyalty / Trust  
> The foundation of any good relationship and perhaps a hallmark of Shinji and Ichigo’s, Day 1 is dedicated to the fundamentals of this bond
> 
> So... I was planning on writing this actually before the posting date, but as you can see that didn't happen. Sorry, this is late (In Australia it's the 4th right now), and fair warning I started writing this about 2 hours ago so it hasn't been beta read.
> 
> I decided to go with trust, I wasn't sure where to go with this prompt so my initial idea got overtaken by this monstrosity. I hope this doesn't feel too cliche. This is the first time I've written fanfiction in years, but I tried...
> 
> Without further ado, happy reading...?

It started out small, regular correspondence shortening. Minutes shaved off calls, texts transforming from an everyday affair to sparse acknowledgement, the occasional letter all but disappearing. He tried to brush it off, call it stress, or overwork or some other commonplace _excuse_ , but it soon became all too evident that this, this … whatever-this-is had almost completely shattered their relationship.

It all came to a head on one casual Sunday, the monthly gathering between the Visored in Karakura Town and those who had returned to the soul society. In the past the tension had been minor, casual banter gradually becoming more and more strained until it too tapered off, greetings becoming more aloof and goodbye hugs all but exiled. It had taken almost a year passing for it to reach this stage, but now even the most oblivious of the bunch could casually comment on this changed dynamic. 

Yes, something had been off at their last meeting, a sense of discomfort permeating the air. Yes, those increasingly brief forms of contact had all but ceased to exist, but he wasn’t expecting this retreat. This attempt at escape, so uncharacteristic of the man he knew, the boy he once admired for his impressive resolve.

That was the breaking point. Shinji knew he couldn’t let it continue any longer. Couldn’t let Ichigo start running from his problems, not _now_ , not after all they’d been through together. So he had ended up here, tracking down Ichigo – although he wasn’t too hard to find, he could be so predictable in his worried state – to the river's edge. 

Just as he was about to speak up, to break the silence a hoarse voice spoke up. “Look Ishida,” Ichigo sighed, “I know you mean well but I’m not in the mood.” Tension evident in the harsh rigidness of his shoulders and the strain in his tone.

“I’m not Ishida.” Shinji stated as he came to sit beside the redhead, internally cursing, had his conversational abilities deteriorated so far?

“Oh.” The teen flinched, curling into himself even more, if that was physically possible. “What do you want?”

“What do I WANT?” Shinji all but exploded. “I want you to tell me what’s going on, to explain to me what went wrong, why you’re here, why you’re running. This isn’t like you. I know aren’t the most demonstrative of people but, what I want is my friend back.” He slumped, the fight running out of him. “What happened to us?”

Ichigo’s shoulders straightened as he tried, and failed, for his normal tone. “What happened to us? Nothing happened Shinji, it’s just hard right now, with exams coming up and goat-face pushing me to make a decision on universities.” 

Normally these complaints would be enough, normally Shinji would let it slide; accept the avoidance as he knew prodding would only result in Ichigo’s discomfort. But today was not ‘normally’, and Shinji was at the end of his tether.

“You know what?” He questioned, exhaustion lining his voice. “Fine. I’m done. I’m not in the mood for this… game anymore. When you’re ready to tell me what’s wrong, well, you know where I’ll be.” He pushed to his feet, knowing there was little more he could do.  
Just as Shinji turned, preparing to Shunpo away until the desperation in Ichigo’s voice forced him to halt. “Shinji, wait!” The teen had turned, a slight tremor to his frame as called out, “Just wait, okay?”

And so there they stayed, Shinji’s expectant gaze fixed to Ichigo until the substitute Shinigami could take it no longer. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault, isn’t it?” The words escaped him, disjointed and almost pained.

Despite all that had happened, the insurmountable gap that had seemingly opened between them, Shinji just sighed, “Oh Ichigo.” And made his way back to the redhead’s side, closer than before, until they were almost pressed together. “You know you can tell me anything, what’s wrong?”

Ichigo sighed, leaning into the blonde, silent as his mind worked. Muscles still taunt, as if prepared to flee at any moment and gaze fixed stubbornly on the running river, he spoke, “It’s… It’s just that with everything going on, with all the chaos of these past few years, I hadn’t had time to notice _it_ before. I thought it was just age, just the circumstances pushing me away, just another thing separating me from being the others. But now, now I know. It’s not the timing; no amount of waiting for ‘the one’ is going to help. It’s just me. I’m the one that’s wrong, and I don’t know how to fix it.” 

“Ichi, where is this coming from?” Shinji questioned, tone gentle as he prodded, “You know there’s nothing wrong with you, what happened?” He wrapped a careful arm around the teen’s shoulder, knowing that they hadn’t been this close in months, but instinctively realizing that Ichigo needed something to ground him.

“This!” The teen gritted out. “This is the problem! You and me. This. Us. Whatever there is between us.” The tension finally left him as he seemingly came to a realisation. “This is all my fault. I let it all get muddled up in my head. Emotions and attraction, friendship, the line between what is there and something more. I’m sorry Shinji, I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through these last few months. I’ll stop it. Okay. I’ll fix this. Make it go back to normal.”

The silence was back, blanketing them as Shinji struggled to comprehend what the redhead had just admitted. His mind worked overtime, flitting through past experiences of late night calls and bitten back words. Straightening, he turned to face his companion, only now noticing the redness to his face, smooth complexion mottled with signs of distress. “Ichi, look at me.” It took a moment but soon Ichigo’s eyes were fixed on his, unblinking even as his breath hitched. “I need you to trust me, please.”

And with that Shinji leaned in, yearning and hoping with all he had that he had come to the correct conclusion, that he had understood Ichigo’s unorthodox confession and that what he was doing was the right thing. In the nebulous moments before their lips touched he felt his pulse jackhammer, heart in his throat as he made the leap, Icarus flying towards the sun.

A sense of rightness filled him as he felt Ichigo finally relax, becoming boneless in his hold. Their lips finally parted. It could’ve been minutes or hours, but they remained together, trapped in each other, foreheads touching as they shared breath.

Neither was sure what to say, but words didn’t need to be spoken. Between one moment and the next, the chasm between them had been filled. There were still cracks that needed to be mended, conversations that needed to be had, but for now, they just stayed together, basking in their newfound serenity.

“Ichi I –”  
“Shinji –”

They broke off; eyes meeting again as smiles slowly overtook their features. It was going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank's for reading! Comments and feedback are appreciated.  
> Not sure about how I wrote Shinji, so hopefully the coming days will turn out better.


End file.
